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Kole Miller

Kole Miller’s Story - Kole passed on September 5, 2010

Kole was one of four children. Kole had two sisters, Makenna and Kaycee and one brother, Kaeden. All of which have been affected by Kole’s struggle with cancer.

Updated on 07-18-2010. I guess the real reason I haven't updated is because I just don't have anything great to report. Kole has basically gone down hill since his birthday. With each day he has become less able to do things everything that we take for granted has been slowly taken from him. He can no longer talk, and is basically like a rag doll unable to move anything. This is the most heart wrenching thing I have experienced and I can only imagine what he is thinking being trapped inside his own body.... it's like living a nightmare that you can't wake up from. He is alert and oriented and communicates by rolling his eyes and down, he doesn't appear to be in any pain most of the time. He does complain of leg pain... his legs cramp and he has atrophy in his lower legs it breaks my heart. I can't remember his voice and he can't even pucker up to kiss me people send him toys and all he can do is look at them and the worst thing is I can't remember him not being sick. Not only is my child being taken from me ....my memories are also being taken and to be honest I don't want to remember him how he is now I want to remember him happy running and loving life the way he did. I just want to feel him wrap his arms around me and say mommy I love you.

We try to keep him busy reading to him and taking him to the movies and just out to places. Makenna was talking about going to the park the other day and he just started crying and he never does that. This is so unfair no child or anyone for that matter should ever have to go through this. I have prayed and never gave up hope or faith for his healing but over the last month watching every bodily function being taken from this child I realize that he will not receive a healing. I have prayed and begged that he not suffer and just to pass away in his sleep and apparently that isn't even going to happen.

Updated 09-05-10 - Kole’s condition continued to deteriorate and he just eventually went to sleep and remained this way for about 2 weeks he never appeared to be in any pain we just held and loved him and talked to him and gave him all the love we could because we knew our little boy was being taken from us. Kole died at home in our arms Sunday September 5th. He was at home and spent very little time in the hospital and we took care of him 24 hours non stop without outside help because that is how Kole would have wanted it he didn’t like to have strangers taking care of him. I can’t even begin to imagine what are daughter have been through I can’t imagine have a sibling die and much less to have to watch it. Kole’s decline was very gradual and they witnessed him going from walking, running an playing just being a kid to some who couldn’t move walk or talk or even eat. Our 4 year old keeps talking about when Kole gets better he will come back from heaven and our 12 is angry but these are normal reactions for their ages. And little Kaeden will have a bother he will never remember but only by pictures and our stories. Cancer doesn’t just affect the patient it affects the entire family and none of us will ever be the same. I guess Kole is the lucky one he is heaven and having a great time while we are here on earth attempting to start a journey without our son, brother and learning how to live with a pain at this point in life seems inconsolably…….

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We are a group of volunteers within the Charleston community who are committed to giving needy children a special Christmas.
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Sign up to be a Charleston Elf by clicking on the following link: Become an Elf. Choose the children you want to sponsor, provide the required information and then follow the steps required to sponsor a child.

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